Monday, October 19, 2015

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes

The relief I felt when I heard that cry. The absolute joy and elation that filled my heart when I realized that you were going to be okay. I couldn't wait to hold you, and to tell you I loved you.

Every tear you have ever shed, and realistically speaking, even though I hate to admit, the ones that will come- do something to my inner being.

For my son, you are part of me. You always have been and you always will be. Much like the operating room that precious day you were born, is this new birth that has just begun. No, you haven't received the Holy Ghost yet, but I know you soon will. In fact, since you want it before Halloween, it could be any day now.

Oh, the relief I have felt at hearing you cry and pray and how precious are those words as you cry out to Jesus! To hear your little voice say, "Jesus, you are worthy. I know a lot about the bible, and I believe the stories are true." 

These last few months I have watched you struggle with the questions one by one. Is God real? Is there a Heaven? Is there a hell? Why is there One God? How come there isn't three? Why can't I do things that are bad? What's wrong with this? What's wrong with that? The day that Jesus died and was crucified, did He really think about me? 

Is he too young for all these answers? Is he too young to really understand? Has he reached an age of understanding and a decision as will every single man?
The responsibility of a parent is not a light one. It's not an easy one. There's no standard instructions, but we do have a manual- The Word of God. Thank God for an amazing church, an amazing Pastor, and yes even Abeka. (Our homeschooling curriculum, that does an amazing job of teaching the bible stories)

As I watched that tear roll down your face, all I could think was that it had to be the smallest little tear I have ever seen.

I remember you asking me- "Mama, why do people cry when they pray?"

I remembered not really having an adequate answer.
Because, how do you explain the overwhelming feeling that a great big God that cares enough about you to come in the form of a man, and die on a tree, just for you and me? 

How do you explain the feeling you get when you feel enveloped, and then you know- He's just holding your hand?

How do you explain to a little boy that you once walked away, that there's redemption, but you desperately hope that he avoids that hurt?

 A precious baby tear from a child who will one day grow up to be a man. I can't wait to see who you become. The man of God I know you will be.